As with any long-distance relationship, patience and love will do wonders. God bless you and good luck. May 13, Rating My boyfriend is a master Mason. Brittany Hello, I have been seeing my boyfriend for a little over 5 months. Before we started dating, he mentioned going to "Mason meetings". I wasn't sure what that meant so I asked around to friends and family and did some research. I was appalled by what I had found. I had mentioned to him that it made me uncomfortable. Of course he apologized and we didn't really speak anymore of it.
Since we've been dating, he's been absolutely wonderful. He makes me a better person, respects me, loves me, treats me well. Recently, he moved in with me. As I was unpacking his things I found this little black book with what looked like jibberish in it and a "Masonic bible". I asked him about those things and he said it was his Mason stuff and that it was written in such a way so that people cannot interpret it.
Curiousity got the best of me and I researched the text which I was able to translate on the internet. There's rituals and things that he keeps around to keep his mind fresh I assume. He doesn't exactly tell me much of anything about it, other than it's none of my business and he doesn't like me researching or asking anyone about it, although I'm not mentioning his name as I do so. He's a very private person to begin with. It took a while for him to start opening up to me. I am not sure what I should expect or if I should be worried? I love him dearly and want him to be happy and proud of who he is, but at the same time I'm uneasy because he gets very upset with me when I ask about the masonry.
I guess I'm just wondering how I can be supportive with this and get my mind at ease. Some websites exclaim is devil worshipping practice, strange rituals, blood oaths, etc. Other websites exclaim how good it is, the charities, etc. I guess I just want the best understanding I can get. As he is very private and can't speak about it I think mostly he fears giving too much information , he doesn't give me much to go off of nor does he make it easy for me to feel comfortable.
This is the only time we've had a real strain in our relationship since we've been together. We vowed complete honestly and loyalty within our relationship. How does that work when he's a part of an organization that takes and oath to secrecy? I love him so dearly and as I said before, he is darn near perfect.
Mason Men In Marriage
I guess I just need to be enlightened. Thank you for your time!! I really appreciate it! May 17, Rating Good questions by: Lant Dear Ms Brittany, Thanks for asking them. First off, let's look at the oft-repeated negative claims. Freemasons do not worship the devil or have consort with demons. We do require our members to believe in a supreme being, but accept good men of all faiths. The Satanism claims generally started with a French pornographer and fraudster named Leo Taxil years ago, but that's a book unto itself.
You can research it if you want - no secrets there. We do not have our own 'special god' nor do we meld everybody's religion together. Rather, to reduce any possible conflict, we refer to the Deity by whatever name each of us considers Him by a common term, the 'Great Architect of the Universe', thus allowing men of all faiths to say some simple prayers together. We encourage each member to continue worshiping in his own faith as he did before he became a Mason. Rituals — every group has rituals. School starts in many places with the singing of the national anthem and the pledge of allegiance.
Consider the ritual around the President's state of the union address — it's a lot more than one person just reading a speech. There's ritual at the changing of the guard in London, England, in Boy Scouts and so forth. Much of Masonry's lessons come through repetition during our ceremonies — ritual, if you like. Freemasonry is almost certainly descended from highly skilled medieval stone-workers. Horrific punishments were sadly common at that time. The punishments, along with many positive things, form part of our tradition, but they are merely symbolic now. The worst penalty the Craft can actually impose is expulsion.
Generally not emphasized by Masonry's critics is the fact that the oaths also specifically obligate a Mason to be law-abiding, charitable and strive for self-improvement to be of more use to his fellow human beings. I and my wife are honest with each other. We have what I think is a very, very good relationship. Do I tell her absolutely everything? She is a gentle woman; I have experiences from my time in the Army which I would never risk traumatizing her with. I have legal obligations due to my service as well, things I am not allowed to reveal.
She was badly injured in an accident last year and I had private conversations with her adult children about her condition. Doing much better now, thanks. She in turn is a professional, a counsellor, and has many job-related secrets I would not dream of being told.
Cops, lawyers, doctors, priests — many professions carry a requirement for some level of secrecy. Almost any job does, come to think of it. But, I hear you say, those are jobs and Freemasonry isn't, so it's different? OK, let's say you were a Girl Scout leader and a girl came to you with a very personal question, looking for advice.
Exploring the Social Dynamics of Freemasonry
I daresay you would not repeat it to your boyfriend. Or let's say a neighbour tells you something in confidence about her marriage. There are innumerable situations like that. What matters, I think, is that partners in a relationship keep no secrets from each other which could impact on the relationship — things like health, money, sex, family. There are in fact no real, massive secrets in the Craft, nothing which would cause a disaster if they were revealed.
We just don't talk to them anymore, given that they have broken their word. So, the million dollar questions — how can you be sure, how can you trust him? Let me answer those by asking you one in turn. Take all of those charges and rumors and whispers, all the horrible things said about Freemasonry. Now take a good look at your boyfriend. You say you love him dearly, are proud of him, that he makes you a better person, treats you very well and so forth. He's "darned near perfect.
Can you see him as a devil-worshiper? Go with your gut. Here's one place where that magical, powerful female intuition can come into play. When you look at your man, how can you reconcile the good, loving individual you have come to know and love with all that malicious nonsense? Freemasonry is a men's group designed, at its heart, to help men with moral improvement. It's easier when you are surrounded by other men on the same path.
Do we always succeed? Of course not, for we are all of us human. Along the way, it gives a man a chance to spend some social time with some decent fellows. Most lodges have family events. When you get to meet more of his fellow-Masons and their wives and girlfriends, I think it will become a bit easier for you.
Meanwhile, I again thank you for a good question and hope that this helps. Feel free to ask more. Jun 15, Rating Second Family by: Anonymous My hubby is a Master Mason. His lodge holds pancake breakfast email every first Saturday of the month. When I first met him was at a charity fundraiser for the Special Olympics of Ohio. He invited me to breakfast at his lodge. I was surprised to see several people I knew: I started to ask questions they told me anything I want to know is in a book they gave me " Idots Guide to Free Masonry of Ohio" My husband hubby is an a active member in blue lodge and the Shriners.
He will be active in Scottish or York Rite when he finally comes a past worshipful master. I can join him at events at the Shriners, he always introduces me as His Lady to everyone as polite protocol. When he deployed overseas. If I need any help I would call one of his Lodge brothers and they'd come over to help.
There's a lot of mysticism behind Freemasonry which I find appealing and interesting. What goes on in lodge stays in Lodge he jokes. Jun 18, Rating Dear Ms Anon by: Sounds like you two are doing well. Jul 02, Rating Dark World by: Now when almost 10 months passed, i thought that it was time for us to reveal ourselves, i did come in front of him, but he didnt come in front of me, i got curious and began to serach as to what possibly could be wrong, at last i concluded that he might be a part of something known as "Dark world" sorry i dont mean to offend anyone with the use of such words.
I asked him if this was the case, he agreed, so cutting it short, he is not allowed to see me or talk to me, whenever i bring this up he says they will punish me and so he is really scared of coming in front of me. He decided that he wants to leave what he is a part of, i helped him with that how i helped is to be kept a secret, since i am not proud of what i had to do but they did not let him go. How can someone leave if he wants to? Jul 06, Rating Eew by: Thane Dear Anon, I am really at a loss as to what to say.
I can tell you that this sounds nothing like anything I have ever seen in near 40 years in Freemasonry. There is no reason for a Mason not to make his membership known, there is no way we would ever hurt those associated with somebody who quit, there is nothing shameful in anything we do private, yes; shameful, no and Masons are certainly free to meet their families and so forth.
Masons can quit at any time by merely writing a note. What you are describing just sounds bizarre. To be frank, it sounds like he is either playing with your head or else is one sick puppy. You are of course free to set your own course, but if you want my advice, move on — now. Life's too short to be spent being played by fools or freaks. I sincerely hope things get better for you. Oct 17, Rating Ask him by: Anonymous The rules are if it's written in Masonic code you're not allowed to know cuz it's Secret but if it's written in English that's something he is allowed to let you read and can discuss with you ask him if it's okay to read his material such as his book he got before becoming a mason entitled approaching the portals then when he became an Entered Apprentice he got another workbook that you can read called Entered Apprentice he should have a book for each degree to help him with his degree work and to help him understand Freemasonry better in those degrees.
I highly encourage the women in a relationship with a Freemason to read as much as the material as possible. I stated before the only thing that are secret are things were written in code that you cannot discuss. Other than that ask him to read over the material and help him become a better Mason to know what you're allowed to and by that helping him advance as a better man. Oct 17, Rating Get Involved by: Anonymous You may also get involved in Freemasonry to an extent if your boyfriend and you decide to join together in the O.
Order of the Eastern Star which would allow you to also participate and better support your boyfriend. At least that's my opinion on the OES. Jan 04, Rating Never trusting a mason again by: He said that this and his job combined nothing particularly secret about his job either involved secrecy and privacy.
He seemed to have an obsession with starting a family and having kids. He asked me to change lots of my habits and embrace healthier choices 'because I would be pregnant'. Which I actually did change. This guy though, professing himself to be the most loving, the most caring, and with the best moral compass on planet earth, lied to me from beginning to end. I found out he had a relationship of at least a year with another woman, and that she actually had gotten pregnant two months before our breakup.
I gave him a chance to come clean and admit his lies and deception, and he sent me an unbelievably long email which had the most ridiculous explanation of events. He went so far as to tell me he had hoped she would have a natural abortion due to her age and that they were STILL not together. I have a hard time believing that people who are able to go through such elaborate deception are actually members of a fraternity that strives in becoming better beings.
I would never in my life trust a mason again. Jan 04, Rating Re: When our church lost their building due to an inability to pay the mortgage, R. We are all invited to the picnics and other events, while the Brothers are always invited and attend our church suppers. This is something you should support, as well as feel free to join him in during occasions that the Brothers are encouraged to attend with their wives and family.
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If you have questions, watch what kind of sources you are using, just like any other legitimate scholarly research. Like many other things on the internet, most of the stuff out there is false information by the paranoid or uninformed. My husband had become a Master Mason in October. I was very angry on how this all came about. So then we go to the local lodges potato pancake sale during lent, well same person approached my husband again and had him fill out the paper there!
First it was one Thursday a month, then it was every Tuesday and the once a month Thursday. Constantly being asked to go here and there, now we have gone to Saturday afternoons. I love my husband dearly and try to support whatever he wants to do, but I did not sign up to play second fiddle to his boys club.
Before I get the talk to him, express your feelings and fears talk, been there done that. He just becomes angry with me and somehow I become the enemy so to speak.
Dating a Freemason
It sounds like there may be bigger issues at stake here. If your husband gets angry when you try to express your concerns, perhaps its time to do that in a place where it can be mediated, like therapy. Also, please know that both of your can be involved as you wish, or not. Well I thank you for your time. Like every thing I have heard, you have just confirmed. Yes, I understand fully that he has a choice in whether or not he attends whatever function at hand, but I also know that putting someone on the spot or expressing the need for him to be there is very unfair.
I know he probably feels torn between home and the lodge; however it is also unfair for them not to take some responsibility for this as well. Like I said I am in no way making accusations as to wrong doings by this organizations, but I do feel the imposition is very wrong. That being said, Masonry teaches that Masonry should not be first among your obligations. It sounds like your husband may need to re-evaluate his priorities. My husband stopped going to this mason involved junk and we are better than ever. Although I find that response comical, I thank you again for your time.
As always it is a great pleasure to hear how it is always someone else at fault. As a Mason, I have no reason to jump in here and comment. But my wife reads the blog and I thought it interesting enough to reply. I also have no intention of keeping any either. The rest can, and I would advocate, be shared with our spouses. Especially if they are curious! My wife regularly helps me with rehearsal — so she knows more than pretty much all of the younger brethren. As young brethren, most is worried about breaking their promise to keep these small things secret. But wives knowing what it is all about, is in fact quite common practice.
As long as the Mason himself keeps his promise, then so be it, his honour as a Mason and a man stays in tact. All the rituals are opened and freely available online. I often just open the ritual from online, directly on my phone when we require a reference. So the secrecy part of the plot is a non-issue. Some lodges even encouraged the ladies to go with and attend the after board.
Many of the ladies are friends unto themselves and make the time at the lodge a bit of an outing. They always get treated like royalty by the men, and this is the way it should be. However, we do have some brethren who find refuge at Lodge. It is bad when a man would rather be anywhere else, than at home. I am sorry, but there is clearly something wrong at home, and the other brethren know this too. Thus I agree fully with the sentiment that some couples would be unhappy, with Freemasonry in the mix or not.
Unfortunately the experience has become his obsession. I wish he had never become involved! He is too weak to cope with the demands of such an over-powerful influence. Sounds like you should remind your husband that when he became a Mason he was his greatest duty was to his god, his country, and to his family. If you feel Masonry is being a detriment to your family, you need to be sure to communicate this to him. I still say that media has given people the wrong impression and I for one am willing to learn the truth and embrace the masons as my partner has shown interest. Hanna — a marriage with secrets is an unhealthy place.
Wow — there seems to be alot of this. No, that is not correct. Where did you get that impression? As the wife of a 32 degree Mason, I will say my opinion of the Masons has changed through experience with my husband and the small amount of exposure to the actual Masons philosophy. This is a fraternal organization, a boys club, which generally prohibits women members.
The members are very secretive about their meetings. If it is secret it is not positive, I believe. This group is supposedly a group for spiritual growth but does not encourage any efforts regarding marriage. Men who gather in secret to congratulate each other on their importance and goodness, while abusing their wives in many ways lying, cheating, financially, physically and emotionally are not on any sort of path to enlightenment. I also believe that cultures and organizations that encourage marital infidelity are dysfunctional.
The original premise behind the Masons may have been useful, and now it has been subverted. I must, however, respectfully disagree that just because something is secretive, that it cannot be positive. As a Mason, I have no reason to jump in here. But my wife reads the blog and I thought it interesting. So here is the kicker: I often just open the ritual from online on my phone when we require a reference.
So the secrecy is a non-issue. Some lodges encouraged the ladies to go with, as many are friends unto themselves. It is bad when a man rather be anywhere else than at home. So happy to find this blog! My long term boyfriend is looking into be coming a mason. His app is in review. I am so proud of him! Glad to hear you enjoy it! The book that I always recommend is FreeMasonry for Dummies. Is there a way we can communicate through email??
Feel free to email me with any questions at themasonslady gmail. As the soon to be ex-wife of a mason can anyone educate me on the rules of dating other masons? I went out on a date with an awesome guy. He pointed out a masonic license plate and the conversation started.
What is the Eastern Star organization, and are they related to the Free Masons?
I am former eastern star. I truly enjoyed reading all this information. Please, is Freemasonry bad?
That is really something you need to answer for yourself. I do highly recommend that you do some research and come to your own conclusion. There are a lot of websites and information out there. Wow… I just filled my forms with my Freemason friend. I hope am called anytime soon for the interview then after I get initiated…. I have some questions i would like to ask you, but i want that to be a personal conversation. Feel free to send me an email at themasonslady gmail. Thus if you are a strict Catholic girl or hold Catholic views close to your heart, dating a Freemason may put you in direct conflict with your religious beliefs.
Even if you are not a Catholic yourself, but come from a Catholic family, be mentally prepared for some kind of opposition from your parents to the person you are dating. Closed to women Along with its secretiveness, another aspect which may rankle you when dating a Freemason is that the major orders are closed to women. The most important Masonic orders do not admit women in their folds for the primary reason that interaction with women in a ritual context is not permitted under the Masonic principles.
An association that completely bars one-half of a population may seem completely wrong to many and you may have similar misgivings about the beliefs of your partner. However there are certain orders associated with the major Masonic orders that admit women and that have their own variation on the secret handshake and other rituals, such as Order of the Eastern Star and Order of the Amaranth. However the major Masonic orders are quite strict about keeping women out and if you are serious about your partner, you better get used to the fact that you will not be accompanying him on his Masonic meetings.
For a long time, Freemasons have suffered bad press about being a cult-like organization when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. A cult can be defined as an association that is easy to join, difficult to leave and which revolves around the blind worship of a single, dominant figure. Most importantly there is no single, global governing body regulating and ordering the Freemasons of the world which is why they can keep their secular and unique form. In fact the major Masonic orders of the world have their own signs, symbols and rituals while following a shared set of very basic principles.